(The following is a transcript of remarks delivered by Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic Dolores Jane Umbridge to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Board of Governors on August 8th, 1997, one week after Voldemort overthrew the Ministry and replaced its senior members)

File Photo of Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic Dolores Jane Umbridge

Good evening.

It’s wonderful that you could all come on such short notice. No doubt you have heard about recent leadership changes at the Ministry of Magic. I am here to assure you that these are changes for the good. The new minister is taking this opportunity to improve even further upon my previous work at Hogwarts to address the urgent issue of lycanthropes, or werewolves, in the educational system.

Minister Thicknesse has heard from parents concerned about the possibility of students with lycanthropy attending Hogwarts. We will therefor take action to ensure the safety and privacy of all students. Based on the Decrees for the Employment of Lycanthropes and the Protection of Quidditch and Wizarding Sports I introduced four years ago, tomorrow the Ministry will issue the Decree for the Education of Lycanthropes.

Logically, there are only two kinds of animals: humans and non-humans. Werewolves can call themselves whatever they wish and should live in peace and security. However, as much as they would try to have you call them human, every full moon shows how ridiculous that statement is.

Hogwarts is a school for humans. Thus, Article I of the new Decree states that forthwith, all lycanthropes are banned from human institutions, including Hogwarts. We all sympathize with those poor things afflicted with this horrible curse, but the Hogwarts is not designed for students with… ahem… such special needs. <short laugh>

Our first priority has always been human students. The poor little dears suffer terribly worrying there might be a werewolf student hidden among them. While there are no known lycanthropes at Hogwarts today, and certainly not since the events three years ago, students will study harder and learn more in an environment where they can rest their little heads assured that there are no dangerous half-breeds hidden in their midst.

The Ministry is not completely heartless, though. We realize that some effort must be made for the good of society to provide a minimum level of education for lycanthropes and others like them. Thus, a committee will be established at some future date to decide how to provide separate facilities for their needs.

New schools are costly though, and we cannot afford to build one for such a small group of ah… ahem… students. Good wizarding families with sterling reputations, such as yourselves, would be reluctant to provide a single copper knut to fund such an unseemly, unprofitable, and futile project. Rest assured, the ministry will not require you to contribute. Charity for charity cases, as they say.

For now, such students can be educated at home in safety and comfort by their parents, if they still have a home or haven’t eaten them. <laughter> Which brings me to Article II of the Decree: All educational materials related to lycanthropy must reflect that werewolves are non-human, dangerous, and carry a highly communicable disease. This will help human students build healthy, realistic, and proper attitudes towards werewolves when they leave the safety of Hogwarts, while resisting false ideas that tell them otherwise.

I have instructed the new Headmaster, Professor Severus Snape, to begin building these principles into lesson plans for the year. He seemed ever so happy to do so and assured me he will begin at once.

Of course, none of this would be necessary if these half-breeds simply accepted the reality that they are not human and stopped trying to occupy human spaces. Everyone, including lycanthropes, would be so much happier and better off if they just accepted what they are. Thus, Article III of the Decree states that the Ministry will not indulge this delusion, and anyone who contracts lycanthropy will no longer be recognized as a witch or wizard.

This is for the good of both the wizarding community and werewolves. By maintaining the separation of the two, we are protecting the rights of witches and wizards to know that their children will never be exposed to lycanthropes, nor the dangerous lies that werewolves are human.

Article IV of the Decree for the Education of Lycanthropes ensures they cannot go undetected among our children by prohibiting the use of potions to suppress lycanthropy in underage individuals. Such treatments do not cure werewolves, but merely allow them to deceive others into believing they are normal. It is better for werewolves, and the wizarding world, if they accept being seen for what they are, and always will be. It may be painful for them to be reminded of this monthly, or even constantly, but I have found that sometimes the repeated application of pain is the best teacher of truth.

We must treat them as they should be treated, and not how they want to be, for the good of our children. This is why I… I mean the Minister… has issued the Decree for the Education of Lycanthropes. He expects your full support in its enforcement, and so do I.



Brynn Tannehill

Naval aviator, senior defense analyst, nerd, trans, parent, and author of two books that have nothing in common with each other besides the author